Karaoke Nation

"Excitable boy, they all said..." -Warren Zevon

The looks of horror on some faces blended nicely with the growing discomfort on others as I warbled my first song of the night to the dimly-lit martini lounge. The lanky karaoke master, my friend's ex-ex-ex-ex boyfriend, shook his head solemnly as the song unfolded and my smile grew. As the 12-measure break hit, I boogied with ridiculous enthusiasm and drew a reluctant "woo" from a kind spectator, even as my friend tried to bury herself in her Belgian boyfriend's arms out of shame. It was karaoke night at the Indian Pearl!

As I left the stage a single middle-aged man rushed up to shake my hand. "Great song!" He declared before being silenced by his group's discomfort. That's the way to start it off! Controversial! I could tell already that karaoke and me were going to get along. Thus started my latest hobby: yet another activity improved by alcohol unless cameras are present. What is it about me and damning evidence?! But my intro was by no means the worst affair of the night. Shortly thereafter my love-struck friend and I teamed up to butcher a song called "I want to have you babies"...I'm starting to suspect a hidden message in there...hmmm.

What I truly love about karaoke is the wheedling aspect: it contains all the fun of haggling without the need to spend money or fend off tiny aggressive Chinese women! Somehow convincing others to sing when they insist they're terrible brings me great joy. And, oh, the musical tragedies I have instigated! The damage for the night was:

"Excitable Boy" by Warren Zevon: the tale of a disturbed man who rapes and kills a girl and eventually builds a cage with her bones.

"I wanna have your babies" by Natasha Bedingfield. ...I don't get it.

"Fever" by Peggy Lee. Performed with a shy stranger who wouldn't sing any other way.

"Bitch" by Meredith Brooks. Another duet! Oh, the college memories!!! Every woman thinks this is 'her song' at some point in life.

"Something to talk about" by Bonnie Raitt. Solo-butchering this one- mmmm, tasty.

"Other Side" by RHCP. A HS flashback; people sang along this time but I couldn't decide if that was to drown me out.

"Summer Loving (dirty version)" aka 'That song from Grease'...performed with a complete stranger who blushed just about as much as I did :-)

Overall assessment of the night: good times! I now sing in public! No worries, though, they're insured.