One of the mantras I have formed since graduating college is: Don't do anything expecting gratitude. It is not the most poetic of phrases, to be sure, but it rings through my head with its importance. An action done purely in the pursuit of another's gratitude is doomed from the start; it relies on the most finicky of things - human feeling. If you've missed your mark you are left with nothing, and if, by chance, you succeed "thanks" is a fading reward. The main issue is that if you work for gratitude you are working for outside approval, when you really should be laboring to please yourself. But, the concept extends further now - beyond favors and surprises to basic self-worth.
So many in the world are constantly seeking approval for what they know themselves to be. The intelligent strive to have their wit acknowledged; the beautiful bask in the light of admiration; even the strong must lift the little to prove a point. I wonder what brings about this need for public acclaim...it's rather like the tree-falling-in-the-forest quandary: Does a beauty unseen still glow? Does a joke unheard lose its laughter?
One of my greatest goals right now is to separate myself from this destructive tendency. I will not act for gratitude and I will learn to value my positives without the need of an outside harrumph.
...HARRUMPH!
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